Common Mistakes Parents Make During Child Custody Proceedings
A disagreement over pickup time or an angry text to your child's other parent may seem minor, but either could matter in a custody case. Common mistakes during child custody proceedings include violating parenting orders, exposing children to parental conflict, making impulsive accusations, and failing to prepare reliable evidence. In Kansas and Missouri, these decisions can affect how courts assess your parenting arrangements and your child's best interests.
At Talbert Divorce and Family Law LLC, we represent parents facing custody disagreements on both sides of the state line. We help clients identify conduct that could complicate their cases, address parenting-time disputes, and prepare evidence that supports their custody requests.
Ignoring Custody Orders and Parenting Schedules
Changing exchange times without agreement, repeatedly canceling visits, or refusing to release a child for scheduled parenting time can have legal consequences. Even if you believe the other parent is acting unfairly, the court order remains enforceable.
In Missouri, a parent denied court-ordered parenting time may file a family access motion under state law. If the court finds a violation without good cause, remedies can include compensatory parenting time, counseling, and financial penalties. Kansas also allows a parent to file a motion to enforce parenting time, with a similar remedy called compensating parenting time.
For example, refusing a scheduled weekend because the other parent has fallen behind on child support can create a separate custody enforcement problem. Support disputes generally do not authorize withholding parenting time under an existing order.
If circumstances make compliance impractical, document the problem and communicate promptly. A lasting change to a court-ordered arrangement may require formal modification.
Putting Children in the Middle of Custody Disputes
Children should not become messengers, informants, or negotiators in disagreements between parents. Asking your child to report who visits the other parent's home, encouraging them to reject scheduled visits, or rehearsing what they should tell a judge can undermine the reliability of their statements.
Missouri specifically considers whether a child's expressed custody wishes are free from coercion or manipulation. Kansas permits consideration of the preference of a child sufficiently mature to express an informed opinion.
Rather than asking your child to take a position, keep custody discussions between the adults and let the child's views emerge without pressure.
Sending Hostile Messages or Posting About the Dispute
Text messages, emails, and social media posts can become evidence during custody proceedings. An impulsive response may distract from a legitimate parenting concern and create questions about your ability to manage disagreements.
Consider a parent who publicly accuses the other parent of neglect after a disagreement about a missed extracurricular activity. The accusation may escalate the conflict without establishing that the child was endangered.
Communicate about specific parenting issues instead. State what happened, identify what needs to be resolved, and avoid threats or personal attacks. Share necessary information about your child's education, health, and activities, even when you disagree with the other parent.
If serious misconduct occurs, keep copies of supporting evidence and raise the concern through the court rather than attempting to resolve it through public accusations. When direct communication presents safety concerns, structured communication methods or court-ordered restrictions may be appropriate.
Failing to Preserve Useful Custody Evidence
A custody argument is more persuasive when supported by reliable information rather than competing accounts of who does more for the child. Attendance records, childcare invoices, messages arranging appointments, and records of parenting-time exchanges may help establish what actually happened.
If the other parent claims you frequently cancel scheduled visits, a dated record of exchanges, including explanations for changes and related communications, may help clarify whether that allegation is accurate.
Preserve complete conversations when relevant, rather than isolated messages that omit important context. Organize records chronologically and avoid altering or improperly obtaining information.
Assuming Either Kansas or Missouri Can Hear Your Case
Living in Kansas while the other parent lives in Missouri does not automatically mean you can choose which state's courts will decide custody.
Both states follow the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA). For an initial custody determination, the child's home state generally has priority. This is usually the state where the child lived with a parent or person acting as a parent for at least six consecutive months immediately before proceedings began.
For example, if you recently moved from Missouri to Kansas with your child, Missouri may still have jurisdiction if it was the child's home state within the previous six months and a parent continues living there. The Kansas UCCJEA jurisdiction statute and Missouri's corresponding statute recognize this rule.
Exceptions exist, including temporary emergency jurisdiction. Existing custody orders can also affect which court may modify an arrangement. Before filing, determine whether the court has authority to hear your case.
Minimizing Safety Concerns or Making Unsubstantiated Claims
Domestic violence, child abuse, and threatening conduct can affect custody decisions. Failing to disclose a genuine safety risk may leave the court without information necessary to establish protective arrangements. Conversely, serious allegations require a factual basis. Unsupported claims can complicate proceedings and divert attention from documented concerns.
If safety is an issue, preserve relevant communications, protective orders, incident reports, and other available evidence. Explain what occurred and why it matters to the child's welfare. Courts may impose supervised contact, exchange restrictions, or other safeguards when warranted. Parents facing immediate danger should seek emergency help rather than waiting for an ordinary custody hearing.
Requesting Custody Without a Workable Parenting Plan
A request for more parenting time should reflect how the arrangement will work, not just how many days each parent receives. Suppose you work rotating overnight shifts and request alternating weeks with your child. Your proposed plan should explain who will provide care during those shifts, how exchanges will work, and whether the arrangement will disrupt existing commitments.
A realistic proposal should also address holidays, communication, transportation, and responsibility for important decisions. When developing child custody and support arrangements, we help parents consider how proposed schedules and responsibilities relate to their children's circumstances. Preparing these details before negotiations or hearings can reveal practical problems that might otherwise go unresolved.
Talbert Divorce and Family Law LLC Helps You Avoid Costly Custody Mistakes
When parents live on opposite sides of the Kansas–Missouri border, even deciding where to file a custody case can raise questions. At Talbert Divorce and Family Law LLC, we help parents address jurisdictional concerns, avoid procedural mistakes, and prepare for custody proceedings.
Licensed to practice in both Kansas and Missouri, our attorney, Will Talbert, represents parents in custody disputes and other family law proceedings. He earned his law degree from the University of Missouri–Kansas City School of Law and completed the Ross Roberts Trial Academy. He also serves on the Kansas City Bar Association's Family Law Committee.
From our Kansas City, Missouri, office, we serve families in Jackson and Clay counties in Missouri and Johnson County, Kansas. Whether you are preparing for an initial custody hearing or addressing an existing dispute, our Kansas City child custody attorney can guide you through the proceedings ahead.
