How Can You Prepare for a Smooth Divorce Process?
Divorce is never simple, but with the guidance of a divorce attorney and a clear plan, the process can be less overwhelming. Whether the separation is amicable or not, being organized and informed helps minimize delays and reduce conflict.
At Talbert Divorce and Family Law LLC, we recognize the difficulties our divorce clients in Missouri face. With over eight years of experience, we also understand how to make the divorce process as smooth as possible. Let’s go over the preparations that will help make the divorce process smoother.
An Introduction to Legal Requirements in Missouri
Before filing, it’s important to understand Missouri’s divorce laws. Missouri is a “no-fault” divorce state, which means you don’t have to prove that your spouse did anything wrong to get divorced. At least one spouse must be a Missouri resident for a minimum of 90 days before filing, and the petition is typically filed in the county where either spouse resides.
It’s also useful to know that Missouri requires a 30-day waiting period after filing before a divorce can be finalized. This window allows for settlement discussions, mediation, or temporary hearings if needed. A qualified divorce attorney can help you with these timelines while keeping your case on track.
Organize Your Financial Documents Early
Financial matters are often the most contentious part of a divorce. That’s why one of your first steps should be to gather all your financial records. These documents help paint a complete picture of your marital estate, which is essential for dividing assets and debts fairly under Missouri’s equitable distribution laws. During the process, be sure to collect the following:
Recent pay stubs and tax returns (last 3–5 years): These provide a clear record of income, which is crucial for determining spousal support, child support, and equitable asset division.
Bank and retirement account statements: These documents help establish the total value of marital assets and can identify separate property or hidden funds.
Mortgage documents and property deeds: These show ownership details and remaining debts, which are important for decisions regarding real estate division.
Credit card and loan balances: Reviewing debts provides a fair distribution of liabilities and prevents surprises during settlement discussions.
Insurance policies and vehicle titles: These confirm ownership and coverage details for key assets that may be divided or reassigned during divorce proceedings.
Once you have these items, consider creating a comprehensive list of all assets and liabilities. This will give your divorce attorney the information they need to advocate effectively on your behalf.
Start Thinking About Parenting Plans
If you have children, custody arrangements will be a major component of your divorce. Missouri courts prioritize the best interests of the child when making custody decisions, which include factors like the child’s relationship with each parent, their school and home environment, and the parents’ willingness to cooperate.
Judges tend to favor joint custody arrangements when possible. However, the exact parenting plan can vary widely depending on work schedules, proximity of homes, and the child’s needs. Preparing for these discussions by reflecting on your ideal custody schedule and anticipating potential compromises can help you approach negotiations with a clear head.
Prioritize Communication and Boundaries
Divorce can be emotionally intense, and poor communication often adds fuel to the fire. It helps to maintain a respectful and neutral tone when speaking with a spouse, especially when children or shared responsibilities are involved. While some situations may make civil discussions difficult, establishing healthy boundaries can reduce conflict and improve the efficiency of negotiations.
If direct communication is too tense, use email or text to reduce misinterpretations. In high-conflict cases, your divorce attorney may recommend using a parenting communication app or involving a mediator to facilitate smoother interactions. These tools help document exchanges and possibly minimize emotional escalation.
Build a Support Network
Going through a divorce can feel isolating, but having a strong support system is crucial. In addition to legal help, consider emotional and practical support through friends, family members, therapists, or support groups. You’re more likely to make level-headed decisions when you have people to talk to who are looking out for your well-being.
Keep in mind that while loved ones can be a great source of emotional support, your divorce attorney should remain your primary resource for legal advice. Friends and family may offer opinions with good intentions, but they often lack the legal knowledge necessary for sound guidance. Relying on your attorney helps you avoid misinformation.
Know What You Want and Be Willing to Compromise
It’s important to identify your priorities early in the process. Do you want to keep the house? Are you more concerned about custody than property division? Knowing what truly matters to you'll make negotiations more productive.
At the same time, it’s equally important to stay flexible. Rarely does anyone get everything they want in a divorce. Being open to compromise allows both parties to move forward more quickly and with less expense. When preparing for settlement discussions, consider:
Which assets you’re willing to let go of: Identifying less important assets early can help you negotiate more effectively and avoid unnecessary conflict.
What terms would work for child support or spousal maintenance: Having realistic expectations about financial obligations can lead to more productive discussions and quicker resolutions.
Your ideal parenting schedule vs. what’s workable long-term: Distinguishing between your preferences and what’s sustainable helps create a custody plan that supports your children’s well-being.
Approaching these negotiations with realistic expectations will help your divorce attorney advocate effectively for your best interests without escalating conflict unnecessarily.
Secure Separate Finances
If you and your spouse currently share bank accounts or credit cards, it may be time to start separating your finances. While you should never attempt to hide or transfer marital assets, you’re allowed to open new accounts in your name. Doing so helps protect your financial stability and establishes a foundation for your post-divorce independence.
Update direct deposits, modify automatic payments, and start tracking your individual expenses. This is especially useful for creating an accurate picture of your financial needs, which may be important when discussing child support or maintenance with your divorce attorney.
Plan for Housing and Daily Logistics
Another important step in preparing for divorce is deciding where you’ll live during and after the process. If you’re staying in the marital home, consider how you’ll afford it. If you’re moving out, research rental properties in advance so you’re not scrambling to find housing later.
Also think about the daily logistics, such as transportation, school pickups, and household responsibilities. Clarifying these items early reduces the friction that can come from changes in routine and helps the transition feel more stable for any children involved.
Avoid Social Media Pitfalls
In the digital age, your online activity can be scrutinized in court. Be cautious about what you post, even if your profiles are private. A photo, comment, or post could be taken out of context and used against you in custody or financial disputes.
It’s a good idea to limit social media activity during the divorce and avoid discussing any details of the case online. When in doubt, ask your divorce attorney about any content you’re unsure of before posting it publicly. Even seemingly harmless updates or photos can potentially be misinterpreted and used out of context during negotiations or in court..
Focus on the Future
Divorce isn't just the end of a marriage; it marks the beginning of a new chapter in your life. It’s natural to grieve the loss of the relationship and the changes that come with it, but giving yourself space to process those emotions is essential. During this time, surround yourself with supportive people and focus on your emotional well-being.
At the same time, try to shift your mindset toward what lies ahead. Think about the lifestyle, relationships, and goals you want to pursue in this next phase. Even small, intentional steps, such as updating your resume, exploring new hobbies, or setting financial goals, can build momentum toward a more fulfilling future.
Get in Touch With Us Today
With the right mindset, professional guidance, and preparation, you can approach divorce with clarity, reduce emotional stress, and position yourself for a better future. At Talbert Divorce and Family Law LLC, we provide empathic legal guidance backed by years of experience for clients and families in Kansas City, Clay County, and Jackson County in Missouri, and Johnson County in Kansas. Contact us today to speak to a legal representative.
